I Miss You, And I Never Even Had You

Thought Catalog

I woke up thinking of you this morning. I sat still in my bed, trying not to fully cross the barrier from “dreaming” to “awake.” I listened to sad, longing music, all about missing someone — but always someone they had once loved. What is the word for missing someone, for knowing there is something missing from you because they are not there, when you have never had them to begin with? Does that word exist?

You touched my hand. I don’t think you know you did, but I felt it. I felt one finger, then two, run against mine when you walked past me, and I counted the seconds in my head until I could no longer feel my skin burning with you. It’s little things like this that I miss, the tiny bits that make up a whole imagined life, something we could have had, if we were…

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